Jokes about lists.

The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century. You may be old, but I don't carrot all. Be kind to your children, because when you get older, they're the ones who are going to choose your nursing home. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.Funny Short Jokes To Make You Laugh. You won’t miss an opportunity to make someone laugh with these corny good jokes. They are short and easy to …In the M&Ms commercials, large candies with arms and legs chat and joke around with people and celebrities. You can make your own version of one of these characters and use it as a...Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!"

Knock-knock jokes can be a little annoying for adults, but they’re great to tell kids. If you’re looking for very funny jokes to share with your kids to strengthen your bond and make them laugh, then the following 9 jokes are perfect. 1. Knock knock – Who’s there – Annie – Annie who?

45 Hilarious List Puns - Punstoppable 🛑. My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list. Now I can't read anything. 👍︎ 357. 💬︎. 18 comments. 👤︎ u/sm-aug. 📅︎ …

Welcome. Tuesday, May 14, 2024. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing! GCFL is an acronym for the G ood, C lean F unnies L ist. GCFL.net is a web page and mailing list for distributing one GOOD, CLEAN joke a day, five days a week, for free! We hope you will enjoy a joke in the morning before the ...Aaron Rodgers insinuated Jimmy Kimmel was part of the Jeffrey Epstein list of people who traveled to his island. Kimmel threatened to sue and roasted rodgers on his show. Kimmel threatened to sue ... 1. Pail 2. Mop Bucket 3. Ice Bucket 4. Car Washing Bucket 5. Climb Mt. Everest 6. Livestock Bucket “No Child Left Behind” is a joke. Most of the urban and rural students, primarily from families below the “No Child Left Behind” is a joke. Most of the urban and rural students, pr...Want to make your friends cringe? From good jokes to corny puns, the best dad jokes offer endless fun and a boatload of groans.

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7. When your drunk self decides to take a crack at it. ... but then gives up and delegates to sober you. 8. Or when your husband takes the list *too* literally. 9. When a 7-year-old makes a major ...

Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”. Life is like a pen*s: women can make it hard in an instant. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”.Utah. An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he’ll live to be a hundred. “Do you smoke or drink?” asks the doctor. “Those things have never and will never touch my lips,” says ...I think it’s called ‘having a life.'”. “I’m not old; I’m a recycled teenager.”. “I don’t have a midlife crisis; I have a ‘buying more comfortable shoes’ crisis.”. “You know you’re old when your back goes out, and you stay home.”. “I’m so old that I remember when emojis were called ‘punctuation marks ...May 1, 2023 · A white Christmas! *** Great joke for adults: whales at sea ***. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat – the male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. He asks the female whale “let’s both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.”. It doesn’t matter if you need some snappy comebacks for your next boring math lecture or simply want something amusing after a long day at work – these jokes will surely hit the spot. So grab your calculator (or abacus if that’s more your style) and let’s dive into this hysterical list together! List of Jokes about Numbers . 1. The Best School Jokes Ever Told. Vote up any funny joke about school or students. A list of the funniest jokes about going to school that you’ve ever heard. Outside of these school jokes, there’s nothing funny about the classroom. Seriously, we tried to think about something else that was funny about taking tests and dealing with windbag ...

Jul 14, 2021 · Tick Tock Goes the Clock. Doctor: “Mr. Jones, you may want to sit down. I have some bad news and some very bad news… which would you like to hear first?”. Mr. Jones: “Oh jeez, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.”. Doctor: “The bad news” doctor notes, “is that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live.”. Here are 75 funny skeleton jokes and the best skeleton puns to crack you up. These jokes about skeletons are great jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of skeleton dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about skeletons, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this skeleton humor with others. Jump to: Skeleton puns; Skeleton one liners; Best ...Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face.They are, just as usual, a bit further down, and once you are there, do not forget to vote for the most biting, the most stinging, the most violently ironic jokes you find. After all that is well and done, share this entertaining article with your friends. After all, an irony a day keeps your mental health a-OK! #1.31. Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged. 30. What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans. #29 – 20. Prison Jokes. 29.

It doesn’t matter if you need some snappy comebacks for your next boring math lecture or simply want something amusing after a long day at work – these jokes will surely hit the spot. So grab your calculator (or abacus if that’s more your style) and let’s dive into this hysterical list together! List of Jokes about Numbers . 1.

The best jokes about aging skewer the aspects of growing older that are tough for everyone to accept; the slowing down of the body, the rapid advancement of a world that feels like it's moving forward without you, and of course, looking older. When a person can find the comedy in a difficult reality, it's safe to say they've reached a mature …Bill Murray on hope and bacon. "Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die." And for more great …Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers! Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: Why are teddy bears never ...With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on.The holiday season is a time for joy, laughter, and creating memories with loved ones. And what better way to spread some holiday cheer than with a good old-fashioned Santa Claus j...Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her. Yo mama's cooking is so nasty, the house flies got together to fix the hole in the window screen. Yo mama's so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they've got writer's block. Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.Nov 5, 2021 · 71. “Buffet” is a French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”. 72. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the ... 1_ Paul Walker has been rebuilt into a sophisticated AI. 2_ The author unplugged his grandfather's iPod, cutting off his Air Supply . 3_ Sandy hook is a nickname for clothes hanger abortions. 4_ Adolf Hitler was a good baker, especially with a gas oven.

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View in gallery. Guilty pleasure dark jokes. 10. During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval. I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, Rodgers got a laughably low $81.14 from the NFL’s payout. Jets QB Aaron Rodgers earned $81.14 through the NFL’s performance-based pay system, the lowest ...Jokes regarding Paul Walker's November 2013 passing at the 2015 Comedy Central roast of Justin Bieber became so offensive to the cast of Fast and Furious that Ludacris asked for them to be edited out of the taping before it aired on national TV. During the event, comedian Jeff Ross made an unabashed jab at the franchise, commenting: …Funny clean jokes. 1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. 2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.The four kids who make up the series’ wannabe gang are saving money to split for California. When one of them, Willie Jack (played, in a breakout performance, by Paulina Alexis), is asked by her ... Honest Brand Slogans. Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by a corporation.”. Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”. CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know ... 2. Sam Jay. Often the funniest jokes are the ones you don’t see coming, and a first-time roaster going in on Drew Bledsoe was phenomenal. Jay’s “too Black for …This list contains 30+ of the best black jokes about black people (racist, no limits, and dark humor) that you’ll ever hear. Racist black jokes; Funny black jokes; Best black jokes; Racist black jokes. What’s white on top and black on the bottom? Society. Why do a lot of black people stink? So that blind people can hate them.List of Jokes about Penguins . 1. Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties? They find it hard to break the ice. 2. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost. 3. Why did the penguin cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken. 4. What do you call a group of penguins at the North Pole? Lost tourists. 5. Why don’t ...An example of one-line joke that plays on words is that people can’t explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally. Another play on words is that the dyslexic de...Politician jokes are a funny way to show our disagreement with their decisions and speeches. #11 . The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day. Report. 94 points. POST. Vicky Z. Vicky Z. Community Member • Follow Unfollow. 2 years ago. Created by potrace 1.15 ...From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we've got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs. Short Jokes Anyone …My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. —–. 29. A man and his family are staying at a hotel. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. No, it’s just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck. —–. 30. Doing the business in elevators is great on so many levels.

Politician jokes are a funny way to show our disagreement with their decisions and speeches. #11 . The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day. Report. 94 points. POST. Vicky Z. Vicky Z. Community Member • Follow Unfollow. 2 years ago. Created by potrace 1.15 ...1. There. 2. Are. 3. No. 4. Bad. 5. Dog. 6. Breeds. 7. Only. 8. Bad. 9. Owners. 10. Chihuahuas. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A …A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had. any odd jobs for her to do.Instagram:https://instagram. how to delete trash from android Aug 28, 2019 ... ... jokes lists that follow in the wake of festivals around the world. Here are 55 of the comic master's most ingenious jokes and one-liners: “I ...Expect the unexpected with these clever quips that playfully twist reality on its head. From bone-dry sarcasm to subtle wordplay, each joke is uniquely crafted to keep your funny bone guessing and your mind sharp. So sit back, relax, and get ready for an unforgettable journey through the twisted realm of ironic humor. List of Jokes About Irony . 1. pdx to nyc 20 Elephant Jokes So Funny You'll Laugh Your Trunks Off. You're going to want to be all ears for these hilarious jokes. By Best Life Editors. August 2, 2019. Shutterstock. With their big floppy ears and playful personalities, elephants are some of the most lovable creatures on the planet. Seriously: If you've ever seen one in person, you …List of Golf Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Golf Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to … cvg to ewr One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy …A rainbow. How do bees get to school? A school buzz. What’s a chick’s favorite food? Egg-plant. 20 Knock Knock Jokes For Kids. Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. 8 ball pool online Obese po. A Filipino woman and her husband, an American, wake up the morning after their wedding and decide to take a shower together. In the middle of their fun, the water cuts out. The wife cries out, “Ay! Walang tubig!” (“Oh no! No water!” in Tagalog).After reading through all these hilarious jokes about friends, we hope you had a good laugh. If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Colonoscopy jokes; Fart puns; Jokes about poop; Boomer jokes for kids rar unzipper Mar 13, 2024 ... 101 likes, 7 comments - dannybraff on March 13, 2024: "Exhaustive List Of Costco Jokes #comedy #standup #costco #jokes". couples game questions Old Age Jokes. Laughing can make you live longer. Read up on our old age jokes and “getting old” jokes to live forever. Getting old doesn’t have to be sad. Make fun of those grey hairs with ... esperanza rising pdf Jun 19, 2014 ... I've been asked if I can try to perfect my joke-telling skills. So here I am, accosting strangers with a list of gags. I agreed to the challenge ...List of Jokes About Internet. 1. Why did the computer go to art school? Because it wanted to become a pixel painter! 2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many “problems” to solve! 3.1 reranks. Voting Rules. Vote up any funny joke about lawyers and attorneys. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the ... watch the ultimate life The four kids who make up the series’ wannabe gang are saving money to split for California. When one of them, Willie Jack (played, in a breakout performance, by Paulina Alexis), is asked by her ... cle clinic my chart One-Liner Dad Jokes. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! The waiter asked if I wanted a box for my leftovers, but I told him I’m not into fighting. victor hugo May 1, 2024 · One-Liner Dad Jokes. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! The waiter asked if I wanted a box for my leftovers, but I told him I’m not into fighting. name name love test 150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and …Oct 22, 2021 · One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking ...